Home Should Be Safe

23 May 2011

HOME SHOULD BE SAFE

Hubby and I have worked hard to make not only a safe home, but a safer world. We each took oaths to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. That amazing document that solidified our foundation and allowed us to grow, becoming the most prosperous nation on the earth-- for a time.

My oath didn't involve my death, obviously, but in a way, I lost a huge part of my being because of my service, of fulfilling my oath. There is one other oath I have sworn-- under my breath and unbreakable-- "I will protect my children at all costs." When it comes to them that have come out of my very body, well, one can be certainly refer the saying, "Never mess with a bear who has cubs."

Perhaps it depends on how the situation is looked at, of whether having children is a strength or weakness. Perhaps, though, it's both. For me, and likely for Hubby as well, having children certainly gave us "soft spots." But unlike so many (apparently) other parents, you touch that soft spot in a negative way to us and that's the end of a relationship.

Home should be safe. It should be safe for all who live there, most especially for the children. The vulnerable, absorbant learners who one day become leaders, if they thrive; at the very least becoming 'positive contributing members of society.' I have pretty much always held this view, of home being safe. It's one that I hold so close, it's such a belief of mine, that. . . no one really knows the cost or measures I take to ensure my children's safety.

We hoped that buying the nice spot of land and 'down sizing' and simplifying our lives would contribute to our ability to heal from the tolls and costs of the lives we have chosen.

It is most unfortunate that, because of our many and varied experiences, we have learned "There is no safe place." I figured that was just some crazy voice in my head trying to bug me. But ever so slowly it is proving to be true. Even home.

We have actively taken to educating our children, protecting them, and teaching them NOT about the world in which we now live, but about the one which they will inherit. It is our saddness to deliver to them such a rotten place. One can only do so much to "make the world a better place," and that always starts with the home.

Our kids are safe, perhaps too safely held. Now it's time to put more emphasis on what to do when (not if), they face bad or negative situations. It's time to really challenge them to think for themselves, to build their neural connections so that they won't be swept up in the masses of confusion and chaos.

For now, Hubby and I try to block a lot of the hurt and pain that would normally strike us all-- just our life being what it is. But we can only do so much.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Con't 3 June 2011

"It is what it is," Hubby is fond of saying. Basically, it's calling a horse a horse... not complicating matters by what breed of horse, what color of body or hair, how fast it can run a track or pull a carriage. Simplifying our bizzarre and complicated life.

When it comes to "rough housing," my strict rule is "take it outside before something gets broken." It's not that I don't want them playing and goofing around, for there is much to be learned in that unrestricted process-- I just don't want heirlooms to go crashing to the floor, or my dishes, for that matter. If you want to 'play fight' and practice moves, we have ample space that is NOT in the house-- go use it.

But the move has been slow and difficult, as has the adjustments. But adjusting is what humans are-- some more than others-- capable of doing. I don't adjust well, but in that "misaligned" life, I have learned much. It is those positive lessons that I want to pass to my children, to spare them from having to learn "the hard way."

Just today we (all four) were talking about the lack of dishes being done (no automatic dishwasher here, seems rather. . . difficult adjustment), and that Boy has only 5 years left at home. He did the math in his head to come up with "I'll only be 18 then," as his response. *ear to ear grin * I confidently and firmly said, "That's right, Boy. And you will WANT to move out by that time, I'll make sure of it!" Then to soothe Boy's pouting, Hubby chimed in with "Well, you can stay, but you'll have to pay rent and buy your own food." to which I added, "And if you expect me to continue doing what I'm doing now, you'll be paying me housekeeping!"

A little present on "life is rough, be ready," packed into a humorous package, and perhaps one that sunk in. For all of us.

~~Cedeham