Learning and Habits

"It's easier to start off learning good habits, than trying to unlearn a bad habit."

Learning starts, I believe, while still in the mother's womb. There's evidence that suggests a newborn baby knows the sound of the parents' voices, and may even be familiar with music that was played while still in the womb.

Habits probably start later, but I've noticed things about my kids that I could easily 'feel' them doing in my womb-- Boy kicked a lot! And Girl was a squirmer. Both responded to music, but Girl does so in a far more rhythmic fashion than what I can do! It wouldn't surprise me if Boy were already doing gun and explosion noises, though I had listened to classical music and other "soothing" sounds during pregnancies.

The thing that is certain about learning and habits is that you're never too old to learn something new, including picking up new habits, or changing bad habits into more suitable habits.

Fed up with my allergies and sensitivities, and being the only one cleaning up cat puke and the cat box, along with feeding and water both cats and the parakeet, I started with assigning the kids "every other day" duties for the cats. I'd take Sunday, to ensure a full changing of the litter is done regularly. This has definitely helped ease my "housewife" responsibility, and is teaching the kids to be responsible pet owners.

"Dishes" has been a theme not only in this blog, but also in my private journal for years, which I hadn't realized until recently. Dirty dishes bother me a great deal, and when I'm bothered, the family is bothered. No matter what I tried when it came to dishes, there just seemed to be no way to get them under daily control! I wasn't just at the end of my rope, I'd fallen off it quite some time before. That's when my Beloved Hubby got a suggestion from his. . . specialist-- assign days for each family member. The day he got the suggestion it was implemented.

Mondays & Tuesdays are Hubby's days off, so he took those days for his dish washing duty. He assigned Boy Wednesdays and Thursdays, Girl Fridays and Saturdays, and poor worn out Mom had to do only Sunday! I liked this arrangement, but was doubtful it'd work, as nothing else had worked.

We're about a month into this plan, and guess what? It's been working! It's not totally up to what I want, but it certainly has been very effective, combined with my 'rule' of "you can't cook on someone else's dish day" (to avoid fights), excluding Mom and Dad.

It takes 30 consecutive days form a new habit, I was recently informed. Since this has worked out so well, and is almost down to a habit, I'll be implementing another new house chore: the main bathroom. It's the bathroom I NEVER use, but find (usually too late, after embarrassment) that it hasn't been properly cleaned by those who do use it consistently (read "kids" and often Hubby). Starting today, it will be thoroughly cleaned weekly, with the kids switching every other week. I've taught them how to clean, they just choose to not do it, so it's time to start slowly incorporating now just the "how," but also the timing and regularity of it.

Staggering these new habits allows for a slow progression, instead of an 'all-out' (only to fail quickly) overhaul; allowing the learning to sink in and take hold. It is my hope that not only will my house-wifely duties decrease, but that by delegating certain responsibilities, the children will form good habits now to take with them into adulthood.

While a person is never too old to learn or make new habits, it does take considerably more effort, so why not give a head start to my kids by preparing them for the reality of "self care" now? And though it doesn't make sense to me, I'm also seeing that going about the habit forming this way is also teaching them about teamwork, and that what we do affects the people around us.

Aside from that, I'm also having to learn some new things, too. "Letting go," is going to take a while, and may be one of my hardest lessons. So I'm trying to enjoy the easier lessons, such as clothing alteration (usually involving sewing, which is not one of my strengths) and creative storage, while practicing the "letting go" (which applies to the tangible and the intangible).

That's just a glimpse to the recent happenings of our little family.

~Cedeham~
p.s.
I'd really like to teach the cats to use the toilet, but that's not terribly likely to happen; I think the dual flush would throw them off. :-))