Unreal

I'd like to think that "normal" people go through this, but I think the odds are against.

My dad is still in the VA Hospital, and now my mom is being sent from there (she's never been military) to a civilian hospital, after being at VA Hospital's emergency (while visiting my dad) care.

Years ago she suffered complete adrenal failure (called Addison's Disease)-- that means that her body can't produce the needed hormones for "fight or flight" stress. To say she's been stressed with my dad almost dying Monday (1 in 3 people die within hours of having a pulmonary embolism, if left untreated) would be an understatement.

To say I'm feeling a little 'lost' and in some strange unreality doesn't fully convey the entire situation.

Hubby's and my 15th anniversary is tomorrow. We'd planned to celebrate it together on Saturday, and then Sunday he and the kids were going to go stay with friends while I go on a therapy weekend. Then on Wednesday is the "end-of-the-year" BBQ for the kids' homeschool group. That's almost a full week of plans (including a booking at a bed-and-breakfast). . . and I honestly don't know if everything is going to go up in smoke.

How do you face something like this? The only person I know who's faced both parents going ill and dying "together" (7 1/2 hours apart) is my mom with her parents just 3 years ago. Is that going to happen to me?

The entire concept is "absurd" mathematically I'm sure.

Why write this for everyone to see? Because, it's part of trying to wrap my head around it. It's part of trying to not feel so damn alone and lost and confused.

~Cedeham~