Being a parent is the hardest job anyone can do, hands down fact. Why is it harder than say, being the CEO of a company, being President of a nation, a politician, a reporter, a janitor, an house cleaner, a garbage man, a banker, or any other occupation? Well, there are many answers!
~ You don't get paid for the work you do. . . not paid monetarily, that is.
~ YOU are responsible for teaching, educating and guiding little beings that will one day become adults turned out into society.
~ If you don't do your job, you typically don't 'just' get fired, you bear the embarrassment and consequences of a person not well-raised. Though adults are, or should be, held accountable for their choices, parents are often blamed for many faults. Pick up any book on psychology or watch/read any news report to see the truth of this.
I'd list more, but since every person has a parent, and many people are parents, I'm pretty sure a picture is well established.
Our little family is embarking upon a new adventure-- the pre-teen years! Holy cow! Already?
We are already experiencing the affects of fluctuating hormones (not just in bodily form), and are having to find new ways to. . . modulate the behavior issues that arrive.
My method, which thus far is proving effective for Boy, is reminding him of who he is as a person-- not just my little boy, but who he has always been. He has always been a very thoughtful, eager-to-please, helpful, manual labor hard worker. In recent months, he "forgot" who he was, and in spite of discussions concerning teenage behavior, he was. . . experimenting with some. To my consternation, I had to remind him of his place in this family--You're my little boy, you're not man-of-the-house. You don't want the responsibility of man-of-the-house! You're a boy who is growing into a man, and your job is to learn and to grow. It is not your job to worry about adult matters yet.
That little talk, with a "word picture" journey, helped him remember who he is, and that he doesn't have to be "like everyone else" or like who he thinks others want him to be-- that he is fine just being who he is. I have my Boy back, and there are not enough words to express how grateful and proud I am of him coming back to himself!
It has always been easier for me to deal with Boy than Girl, because Girl is very melancholy-- a moody little thing that is worse when Daddy is gone. She's very much a Daddy's girl! She lacks internal motivation to do anything resembling work-- her mind is setting on petting her cat, doing crafts like drawing, painting, crocheting or anything else arts or crafty, and reading books (she LOVES books, always has).
Both kids have read the Nancy Drew series, and we have a lot of them thanks to one of my aunt's. The books were originals from the 30's and 40'! Both kids went on a reading binge with them, and although they've read through all the hardbacks, and Boy has also read the later-written paperbacks, they're both still reading. Boy has picked up the thick book of Robinson Curusoe, and is thoroughly enjoying that story.
Seeing the progress in my kids, in every area of life, is rewarding. I am also pleased to see a rapid increase in their progress since pulling them out of the public school system, and they are having fun with the homeschool group, which is 'sponsored' by the school district-- it's a Parent Partnership Program between the school district and homeschooling families in the district. The field trips have been varied and many, and already-- though this is the first year of the program-- the kids have gotten to do things they would never be able to do if they stayed in the regular system. I am so pleased with the opportunities we've been given through this program-- what with fairs, a variety of local farms, ice skating, "in house" days of arts and craft projects for Christmas, and all this led by a certified teacher. We've been able to enrich the curriculum I'm using, so they are getting a much more rounded education, and Boy is finally getting caught up in academics. Girl is actually getting work done. In the system, both kids-- for completely different reasons-- weren't getting work completed and/or turned it. Their grades were in the toilet because of such. Thus, the drastic improvement is what keeps me going in spite of the challenges and, for this year, doing it "alone" (last year Hubby was able to help ease the challenge).
We are each benefiting from the changes we've made in life. We are each learning and growing, becoming individuals and learning to use our strengths to the mutual benefit of each other, and those around us, and to also allow others to use their strength to help us with our weaknesses.
Being a parent is hard work. It's not monetarily compensated. But when one truly invests in being a parent, when one gives all the love and puts effort into educating and guiding the children, no monetary reward could ever compensate or reward or compete with the 'natural consequences' of such an investment.
Fulfillment can never be achieved through money. Money is fleeting, and as most of us are now fully aware (something I've always been well-aware of), it quickly depreciates in 'value'. Value lay in family and in relationships-- not relationships with inanimate objects.
I am receiving fulfillment from Hubby and my children. Life can be pretty rotten sometimes. Disasters happen, natural and man-made, life gets rough. But family. . . nothing compares!
In Grateful Appreciation,
~Cedeham~
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