Military Life and PTSD

There are times when something out of our control is so powerful it alters our very way of being. A life-altering event that forces us to change because our perception of the world has been permanently altered by the event.

I've lived through quite a few of these events-- so many it's more like a "way of life" for me. The hardest one, though, has been getting the diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), chronic, severe. Diagnosed by two mental health specialists (who give me treatment), confirmed diagnosis by a 3rd party mental health specialist for Veterans Administration certification, and the VA writing that lovely certification letter of me being "totally and permanently disabled" by service connection. In my rare case, VA made the determination after their people connected the dots of my documentations (and they did that in less than two years, which is practically unheard of!).

The VA "certification" was a life-altering event (the whole process was, actually-- but the finalization added a whole new dimension) which permanently altered my perception of life. Something old, things that happened so long ago-- not only to me but to thousands of others-- is like something new again.

 "PTSD" is the latest fad to come along, it seems. There's a good reason for that, particularly in military life.

PTSD is a bitch to live with! It is hell. And when there's two people in one family suffering from its effects, it more than doubles the bitchiness and hell!

That's the other "hardest one" (okay, so I have two-- deal with it). Hubby's diagnosis of PTSD, chronic (by two mental health specialists). We have yet to journey the path of VA for him, but are working towards it. First we had to address the problem (getting diagnosed), then address living with it (ongoing), then address triggers (ongoing and learning), then made the major decision of eliminating the constant "trigger," of being active military-- I use that expression because Hubby was "active reservist," which was in some ways worse than regular "active duty." Hubby made the choice (with my full support) to go "inactive" reserves, so he can still earn retirement, but not have to be so active and triggered all the time.

For me, as a wife, I only had my husband a couple days of any given month-- that's how severely his PTSD has effected our lives. We're still on the journey, and we'll have to learn how to not "set each other off," but we're giving the best play of the hand we've been dealt, that is, to the fullest of our abilities.

There used to be other terms for what is now called 'combat-related PTSD'-- "shell shock" being one that quickly comes to mind. Combat-related PTSD has been documented in America since as far back as the Civil War. Some (but not all) people  can't adjust afterward, after witnessing and being part of such horribleness.

But even in military life, there's more than just 'combat-related' PTSD. There are other traumas that are severe enough that it alters the brain; when that "re-wiring" is permanent, it's called PTSD.

Today I read a very short article about a military wife trying to get someone to pay attention to her husband's PTSD-- she posted a picture of her nude back with a written pledge, holding her husband's weapon. The article can be found here:  Bare for Awareness

While I applaud her efforts to getting attention and help for her husband, I can't help but think how sad it is that it takes bare and/or being nude to get the attention. Where is the support? Why are families being left clueless as to what is wrong with their loved one, and how to go about getting help and support?
 
From my standpoint, as a certified Disabled American Veteran and as the wife of a veteran with PTSD, I have to say this:

"YOU HAVE TO FIGHT!"

To be heard, to get help, you have to fight for it. There's no sitting in the bleachers, or on the sidelines-- you gotta get in there and play.

A couple of things to note:
1) PTSD isn't always evident immediately-- it may take months or years after the trauma for symptoms to appear.
2) Document everything; names and dates-- keep copies!
3) Seek assistance from Veterans Administration immediately-- it's gonna be a fight, so be ready (on all fronts).
4) Seek out "regular people" support, social interaction that is non-threatening. Getting together with family and friends to socialize. Do NOT isolate! Isolation will make it worse, and harder to deal with it.
5) Realize PTSD is an "invisible" wound; it is real and it hurts and it can last forever, even though you can't see it.
6) Reach out to those who can't reach themselves-- a meal, a card, kid-watching, "let's go (insert something to do here-- e.g. fishing, hiking, taking a walk, window shopping, sitting together, playing games, etc)."
7) Someone who is withdrawing is likely starting a downward spiral (depression, for example)-- you might have to fight the person to get that person to be involved, but it's gotta be done. (But avoid crowded and/or busy places, as that would be counter-productive). Small, friendly, safe places are likely a good choice.
8) Nightmares, intrusive memories, flashbacks-- these are ways of reliving the experiences and they will likely cause "in the moment" emotional disturbances. Reactions not appropriate to the situation at hand may be a result of of these-- which are all symptoms of PTSD. Be patient! We might not be in the "present" with everyone else.
9) Don't try to take away a person's "crutch" (e.g. smoking habit, drinking, etc)-- minimizing destructive behavior is one thing, but it won't address the problem. Keep the person safe as possible while getting help (example: don't let the person drink then drive; provide a safe resting area).
10) There's no cemented answer, but "actions speak louder than words." Words of support are great-- and sometimes (due to distance, say) that is all that can be provided. But taking action is so much more encouraging and motivating! See the above list for ideas of how to take action.

While I cannot personally vouch for all the following links, I wanted to post some resources available for military members and families, because it just might help one more person from experiencing the hell that is in the wake of military life and PTSD.  

If you are in crisis dial 911 or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)-- GET HELP!

Red Cross Website

VA Website

Military OneSource, for Service Members and Family

Military.com

And here's an interview with a wife who has a husband with PTSD: Interview with Veteran's Wife

There, four resources to get you started, and a short article of one viewpoint.

The military life is hard. Always has been, I'm sure. Always will be, I'm sure. But that doesn't mean we have to just sit back and "take it." We are more empowered now than in times past; there is help available and more people are learning about the "invisible wound."

If readers have further questions, I welcome them and will respond to the best of my ability.

Apparently, June is PTSD Awareness month! I didn't know that.  PTSD Awareness Month-- VA Website

~Cedeham~
permanently Disabled American Veteran