Counting Losses

Broke'd 30 y/o Pear Tree, 20 Jan 2012

Broke'd Pear Tree, big branch~ 20 Jan 2012

The late winter weather already has me counting our losses. First to go were a couple of my 20+ year-old lilacs (as noted in previous entries), and now the big pear tree closest to the house is probably beyond hope, as can be seen in the first pic. Once all the snow has been rained and winded away, I'll know for sure. I'm incredibly sad, though the tree didn't bear any fruit this past season.

I'll have to be checking on the apple trees when the wind is finished, as well as our blueberries. In the past week, we've gone through the following severe weather alerts: snow, rain, flooding, and currently wind. *sighs*

Hard lessons being learned is that gaining independence from "buying" everything is a battle! The tomatoes were lost because of blight, the blueberries have "mummy berry" (which I hope to gain control of this spring with prevention measures), the big apple tree falling (too much rain last spring; clay soil), lack of pollination for two of the three apple trees (including the one that's falling over), two of the 3 pear trees not producing (lack of pollination again?), and now the complete loss of the pear tree. Losing food sources is difficult and a little depressing. We'll have to catch up on the learning curve (which I'm trying to do by reading from a variety of sources), but much will also come down to "TIME," which is ever so fleeting. Time and energy are two resources that are irreplaceable and in short supply.

In the meanwhile, I'm working on smaller projects and forming ideas/inspiration. I've been surrounded by boxes for a year straight (I started packing a year ago for the move), and am about literally sick of boxes! That's truly amazing considering they've been practically best friends my entire life. It's time to really make this place home, letting go of the boxes and not being worried about "living out of boxes" (a deep rooted way of life for me). We're home, and a "temporary" mind set is not conducive to this new life of ours.

There's been a lot of losses over the past two or so years for us. But I'm learning not all losses are necessarily bad, even if they are painful. Losses provide an opening for something new, because without the loss, there's no room for anything new-- new experiences, trying new things, tasting new foods, trying new ways of doing things, et cetera. Changing the perspective of "loss" to something positive isn't an easy thing to do for this former "optimist," but it's an important step in re-making who I am as an individual, as a wife, as a mother, and for us as a family.

So while "counting losses," remember, not all losses are bad, and they are sometimes necessary.

Now to consider what I want to replace the pear tree with. . . . *slight grin*

Homemaking. A constant and ever changing. . . evolution.

~Cedeham~