Time is the only other dimension of our universe that we'll ever know (aside from the typical 3-D we're all familiar with), as postulated by a Jewish scholar in some B.C. (or B.C.E. as some may prefer) year, and as scientists are coming to realize using all their fancy theories and technology.
Time. We see it's effects on everything, more so outside of America where the ruins of centuries still bear testament to the cultures that called it "home." But even here we see it, in how quickly technology progresses (does anyone else remember cassette tapes and making "mixes" for others?). We see it by the expiration dates on pre-packaged and canned foods. We see it in the wrinkling of skin, the greying of hair, feel it in the creaking of our joints, and the slower pace at which we can accomplish any particular task.
Perhaps it is only as time passes and we get older does there seem to be a comfort in "never enough time," because it is only with experience do we come to realize what is truly important and valuable in life. There isn't "enough time," probably because we (as humans) fail to realize soon enough what is valuable, and we fail to prioritize accordingly. Kids are grown and gone by the time a parent realizes all the high-tech toys they worked so many hours to purchase for their kid pales in comparison to spending quality time with the child; but it's "too late," because time passed and there's no redeeming it, storing it, replacing it.
Absences, whether in body or mind, take a toll on loved ones. The absence can be from a "higher calling" (in service to one's country, religion, etc), or merely from being distracted to the "present." The loved ones can be left wondering where their importance lay, where their value is, if there is so much "other" to pull away the Absent One. And as time keeps on going, the Absent One may or may not realize what gets lost along the way; that it's irreplaceable and forever lost.
One can get lost in "doing" instead of "being." Too much time spent in either 'place' isn't good. We should take time to "be," but that doesn't excuse not 'doing' what needs to be done. And these two-- "doing" and "being" are not mutually exclusive. That is, they can co-occur. You can "be" while "doing." Not only that, but you don't have to be absent while "being" and "doing!" With careful consideration and conscious effort, we can "be" and "do" with others! Whether it's planting seeds or tossing a ball; shopping for clothes, rings, or lawn mower parts; doing chores or working on a project. This togetherness is also not necessary at "all times." There is also need for being alone. To have time for one's self, to think and do and evaluate and plan and grow.
How is it then, that realization comes so "late" in life? I'd guess that more often than not, the realization is shortly accompanied by regret. Regretting how time was "spent."
I'm already looking older, with my greying hair and sagging boobs (yes, I know you really wanted to know that), as is Hubby with his wrinkles and grouchy expression (and his sagging man-boobs! hahahaha), with some slight greying to his facial hair. Our demeanor, even at our "young" age is one of. . . "experience." It seems the more "experiences" a person has, the more quickly they may get "older," even if not necessarily wiser. It is my hope that our early aging because of our "over-achieving in life stressors" has aided us in learning much sooner than our peers what is truly important, valuable, and worthy in life. Our measure of success has always differed from those peers of our age, but is closer to those of our experience and intellect.
We can still laugh at our early mistakes (they're few, really! What, you don't believe me?), and we treasure the good choices we made, even when we had to fight enormous odds against us, or family or commands or peers against what we chose. We've not led a typical or 'easy' life. Not even "middle-aged" and sometimes we're left pointing out to our-age peers (if they ask) "how?" or "what?" to something we've already been through, pointing out something you might expect someone past their "golden years" so say.
What I'm working on personally is going through the "not enough time"-- two properties, getting one ready to rent, and the 5.2 acres that has food and over-grown grass (see earlier reference to lawn mower parts), the "kids'" homework, chores, etc. All those little bits of life that seem to sap all time and energy away. So I am forced at my early age to ask that age-old question: "What's really important?" To make some immediate choices, and defer others to a later time (where again it will have to be re-evaluated). Barring a 'sudden' death, assuming there will be time to contemplate while dying (dying is a process, after all) what I valued in life, I certainly want to be able to answer to myself that what I chose to do was important and without regret.
Only time will tell. . . .
~Cedeham~
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