A Cool Wind Blows

The weather has been comfortable the last several days. A cool wind with autumn crispness on its invisible currents has wafted through and provided a freshness. I feel much cooler, which has been a factor in me forgetting the outdoor edibles still need watering. Oops!

Time is a funny thing, extremely fluid. Maybe it's closer to the 4th state of being (gas, liquid, solids being the other 3), "plasma," but that's an whole different topic. What I mean to say is that time flows differently for people like us-- coming from the military life and having PTSD. Military life steals away holidays and birthdays and other celebrations that most Americans take for granted. Independence Day, Memorial weekend, Labor Day, Christmas, New Year, Halloween-- they are all secondary to "military time." Doesn't matter what day or time it is, there are thousands of Americans across the globe staying awake, protecting information, and standing their posts as a military service member. And a whole bunch of them have families, who are "homefront," and trying to keep it together. The hours and days can seem to take forever, or slip by in what seems like a second. All of this plays into "losing track of time." There's a completely different time standard for military (aside from "zulu" time) and the family members-- time that can never be recovered, retrieved, but surprisingly (oddly), it can be relived!

That's one of the hard parts in "readjusting" to civilian life. Time. It's completely different from what we're used to, how we're used to functioning, how we're used to moving in the world. And at any given moment, we can be thrust back into the past. . . as if it is the present. That's part of the PTSD. Reliving over and over events that occurred years ago (in many cases). Sleep becomes elusive, or proves to be an enemy as nightmares take over.

Getting grounded in the present, and staying in the present, can take an enormous amount of effort and energy. It's work. It's hard work. Invisible sweat and tears.

And then a cool wind blows, and for a moment, we can be "here and now." And just like the wind, we don't know how long it will last, or when we'll be taken away.

Enjoy the moments you can. They will not last.

~Cedeham~