Deserve Victory

Not long after we moved to this house, I came up with three lines for my life "motto," a direction for my life. I painted it on the glass of the mudroom door, so that I could look at it every day. To remember every time I left my house to follow the direction.

Live Honestly.
Give Freely.
Deserve Victory.

As usual, my life is too complicated to 'explain' the why's behind the choices for the above "motto." I knew I couldn't stand the popular (at the time) "Live Laugh Love." And right now, I get pissed just looking at the newest fad quote: "Keep Calm & _______ ." I guess I get pissed at that because I feel like it is someone else telling me to "Keep calm," which has an opposite effect-- I get riled up!

It's been quite a journey. Trying to live my trio-motto hasn't always been easy. I actually think I succeeded in the 2nd one first, making it a habit-- "give freely." Just giving. No "take backs," or asking for an offset or anything in return. Simply giving. It was a pleasure to do, even when sometimes difficult (like when I gave away my "Shore to Shore" blanket that I crocheted for myself).

The "Live Honestly" is definitely the hardest. Before being able to live honestly with others, one must be honest with oneself-- that means facing things that one may not want to face! Living honestly can be down right ugly, in fact. But living honestly reveals a beauty that is buried under superficiality.

Now I've arrived at the "Deserve Victory" (derived from Terry Goodkind's "Sword of Truth" series of books, which I haven't read, and the 2 season series "Legend of the Seeker," which our family enjoys).  I thought living honestly was hard. I didn't realize that the first two parts of the motto lead to the third! Yet, here I am. I feel, I know--without a doubt-- I deserve victory, on several fronts. There have been many battles I have fought, wounds and scars received. The war isn't over, by far. But for now, I deserve victory. It's actually quite humbling to deserve victory-- it can mean doing or saying things that one doesn't want to, but must.

So here's where I am-- the new me from past destruction.

"I will not stop being who I am just because someone doesn't like or approve of my words, actions, behavior, attitude. I will, however, remove those people from my life...."

I refuse to succumb in a box; I will not be caged by someone else's idea of who I "should be." I will not be shackled by doctrine or religion. I am a human being. I have a heart, a soul, a spirit, a mind, a body. The way these are combined is what makes me unique. I must live out my uniqueness.

And, yes, this is what I want my children to learn from my example. To be who they are, individually. To do their best, be their best. It is my hope that my trio-motto will be seen not merely as words painted on a door, but actions performed.

Just because I've reached the third of the motto doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to live it, either. In fact, to live it truly will take the rest of my life.

Mudroom door; free-hand painted

~Cedeham~