"I Still Like You"

Today was a "chill day" for me; I actually succeeded in mostly. . . not doing much. I did a few dishes while my coffee brewed (a great way to keep me from over-exerting myself) and washed & dried a load of towels. That's it. I was able to keep from scrubbing the mold off the front door and then painting it, which I'm anxious to do. I bought the materials & paint yesterday to do the projects (the house's main door & the lower barn's French doors & side door), which, apparently, was "too much." Seriously.

Tomorrow I am going to go wait at the VA Clinic to try to get in to see my doctor. The seriousness of my health conditions has finally "sunk in," and I'm advocating for myself (finally). I have to get better. Literally, my life depends on it.

I didn't know that Hubby has, for "a long time" (years?) kept an eye on me, so to speak. That he listens to make sure I'm still breathing as I sleep. Apparently, he started that after the sleep studies I had done and the results were that I have "mild sleep apnea." But that, combined with my asthma and  hypothyroidism (and the medications for my mental health) makes the "dying in my sleep" quite possible. Add to that the "adrenal insufficiency" and the possibility just sky-rocketed. Even last night, he said, he listened for me to make some sort of noise-- I'd fallen asleep in my recliner-- and was relieved when he heard the recliner noise. Isn't that awful sweet of him? He waits and listens for me to still be breathing!

This evening we were sitting in our double recliner, holding hands (-ish, sorta playing "footsie" but with our hands, like we often do) and talking. I was admiring his facial profile, as I have done for years. Our Girl was doing her playful thing and chatting behind us, so I said to her, "Sweetie, make sure you like the guy's face enough that you'll want to wake up to it every day." It was something I'd thought about back when Hubby and I were merely dating-- that I would always love looking at his profile. I still love watching the way his lips, teeth and tongue move when he's talking. I like the deep laugh-lines he has around his changing eye color (they used to be dark brown, but now they're more green with brown).

April 19, 1997 is when he proposed to me, at a Victorian Tea held in the cafeteria of my old high school-- a cafeteria in which I didn't usually eat because of being an "outcast" of sorts. Almost 17 years ago. And in two months, we'll be celebrating our 17th anniversary.  Already.
While we talked about it (among other miscellanea topics, including him watching for my breathing), I said, "It's been 17 years, and I still like you."

That led, naturally, to talking about how in today's world there seems to be so few marriages that last longer than 10 years, if that. How people seem to forget to "like each other" long after they've said their vows.

Marriage is love, but a strong marriage also includes "liking" the other person. I can't imagine being "stuck" in a relationship with someone I don't like! "Love covers a multitude of sins," sure, but liking makes it a heck of a lot easier! I enjoy just sitting with Hubby, watching him while he reads, writes, makes 'silly' lists, etc. We still talk about little things, big things, strange things, and make up stories which sometimes make us laugh so hard we have tears come out of our eyes.

Through all the bad, through the Darkness, through the heartache, troubles, deployments, disabilities and everything--we've been through multiple layers of hell and back-- it's nice to have each other. We have, and recognize what we have while we have it, what most people either never realize, or only realize when it's "too late." We have love for each other, love for each of our children, and they for each of us. We're a pretty simple little family that's complicated! I am so, so incredibly grateful to have such a wonderful husband. I am grateful for my incredible children, who daily amaze me with their growth in every area--especially when they talk about stuff "outside the box." Even when it's listening to Boy rant about homework & the stress it causes, questioning why teachers assign so much, etc. His rant today wasn't just a rant, but a rather logical thought process! "Why do I have to learn this stuff that I'm going to forget or never going to use? Shouldn't it be that people just take the courses that they'll use? Like, if someone wants to teach math then they take math courses. People shouldn't have to take courses that won't apply to their life."

Yes, he really said that-- almost verbatim. I got the logic down, at least. He even said he was going to start a repetition (in his frustration, he didn't realize he meant "petition,") and get signatures so that "they" can't assign homework any more. We were then able to discuss, as a family--because Girl chimed in with her logic--education and the public school system, along with some history coverage. We were able to let him know he wasn't alone in his frustration with homework, and that for decades kids have wanted less or no homework. Though I did comment (snarky of me, I know) to him when he said, "I'm never going to use this," that he was "Welcome to stop school, move out, get a job and pay bills."

All in all, it was a good day, I think. Hubby made us a good dinner, and we sat at the table together and talked and laughed while we ate.

Not just to my Hubby, but to my children as well, "I still like you." I love them, of course, because they're my family. But liking is a choice, and one I'm happy to make when it comes to my little family. I hope that others get that in life-- that each person can experience liking and being liked.

~Cedeham~